Diary

Wales Wake

 

In lieu of the weeks building up to this weekend's Wales extravaganza, and the girls hitting Tobago, this was supposed to fill a void. It felt more like a wake for one member of the crew, Mr Spesh coming off the back of a not so clever couple of weeks. Still stiff upper lip and all that, life must and does go on and with the support of your friends sometimes it feels not so bad after all. Ok so they are not going to be laying in bed next you every night to abate the thoughts eeeeeeeeeeuuuuuwwww! ! Perish the thought, they keep you focused as does the boys.

Friday was upon us, most of the troop had managed to scrounge the afternoon off so we could get a flyer. Mr Big had deposited the Nivara airways the previous so it was only a matter of lock and loading and hitting the road. Spesh and Goat would muster first before picking the sorry bleep of Mr Soup who, we feel, just wanted to show off his posh street where dog poo smells of roses and everyone has a new car and they all drink Yakult and herbal tea. We were soon on the road battling with the sat nav bleep and Jay’s bleep CD collection “PS: I thought it was ok-ish”. Shorts and Leftster had gone on ahead as they had a new bike to build and Mr Big would trundle down later on that evening. Percy pigs and other such health delights would be the nibbles of the journey but a stop for latte would be a must on the 180 mile trek up to north Wales. We had a few altercations with roundabouts but that was due to Mr Goat getting delirious over ladies breasts and loosing his sense of direction. Mr Smoke was driving up from London so had an arduous journey but it would be good to see him. With the B&B booked at Tyn-y-groes we were set. Traffic was better than good as we sped down the M6-M54 onto the A5 heading towards Welshpool and onto the single lane roads. But again the gods were on our side for change and we hit the B&B around 4.30pm to find Shorts, Lefty and Smoke in the lock up, building a rather bleep looking Yeti 575.

Alas their mission was in vain as the lack of equipment won the day. It was time for a pint and to check in on the location of Mr Big. Mr Big still had the decorators in, no pun indented, but he has been a bit of dress wearing tart of late? With sleeping arrangements sorted it was time to muse over the night ride! Ok, that wasn’t happening so it was time to order dinner. Table booked for 19.30 a fine meal was had by all as another location check on Mr Big made for bad reading, he wasn’t going to make it. The beers started to flow and in a vain attempt Mr Spesh tried to keep up by hitting the Magners! But alas, he was not up to the task as the hard-core drinkers kicked on. We hit the games bar and were joined by some locals who brought their own CDs in, more like hell. We were then subjected to an excruciating night of Johnny Cash classics! No wonder the boys drank more and the pool got worse. Spesh left early and left the gang to it and flirting with the local bike that seemed to take a fancy to Mr Smoke??

Oh look groggy heads at breakfast apart from one? Mr Smoke got a good grilling as to his antics with the local bike; she ’s the only bleep in the village! A hearty breakfast was consumed before the ensuing rush to the loo. The early rise to hit the trails started to dwindle as the lock up turned into a maintenance park, it was more like the pits before the start of stage in the Tour de France. Top faffer was Mr Shorts, closely followed by Mr Goat! Hoooraaah it was time to go, with a 4-mile road section up to the coedy visitor centre it was a good leg warmer before the 38.2K Beast. It looked impressive but the workshop was a bit naff and charged Goat a fiver to tighten his cones, but without further a do we hit the trail. Straight off the bat it was technical heaven with massive single track rocks to navigate before it hit some sweet single track, we feel this is set like this to dissuade less able riders to turn back now. There was some cracking single track and some bad bleep climbs to come as the route picked up the old MBR trail for a while. A group of riders was caught such was the pace of the Reservoir Goats steam train. But that only made for back ups and slow descending. So it was decided to let them go for a bit, but again in no time at all we were all breathing down their necks. So they then realised it was time to let the pros through. With the lack of riding Mr Smoke was starting to feel it. Soup was looking comfortable; Shorts had stopped moaning about the patriot 66 but had been caught pushing it up a climb! Shorts single speed tree trunk legs, Homer pants, Ken Dodd look a like that’s unheard of! ! ! To date Mr Goat was yet to reclaim the "King of the Mountains" jersey but had a good Marco Pantanni moment on one fire road section but was soon hauled back in by Spesh. Leftster was spinning away at a steady pace all the way around, still not 100% by his standards but the overall ride was a lot smoother and quicker, soon he will be taking point. Smoke got a puncture as we approached half way. He still needed some pep talk to keep him going as there was another long climb to come and the technical decent before the short tarmac section leading to the oasis café! Tea! Banana & Walnut cake! Big soup! Just what was needed, the smile was soon back on Smoke's face. Shorts had started to settle into the patriot 66 and was finding the descending brilliant. Soup was doing ok as was Spesh, Leftster and Goat.

With some logging going on it meant no long steep tarmac climb, alas it only misses out a couple kilometres, but Mr Leftster was getting towards the point were he bonked big time on his last outing to Coedy all those years back. Some more quality technical rock sections to come and one ball breaking fire road climb to go Leftster had beaten the Beast and put to rest all those old ghosts as we neared the final decent. All troops in one piece and no major mechanical issues apart from Spesh's chain rings being taken off on rocks the last decent was an eye watering, big grinning doozie. Crossing the road before hitting a quick snaking section to the end of the trail, so good we all went around and did it again and Goat binned it on the last rock turn and was promptly run over by Spesh, Leftster and Soup! Back to the café for some more cake and tea before it was time to head off back down the road to the B&B. The day’s riding was done, big exhausted smiles all around as we put our trusty steeds away for the night. Pots of tea were the order of the day along with a few bottles of red. Leftster broke out the book of bling and it was mused over by all the troops. Operation fight for the showers got under way as did the battle of wax hair doo’s! Ok so Spesh doesn’t have the luxury these days. With dinner booked it was eagerly anticipated as tables and beer mats started to be eaten, at last foooooooood, Smoke and Shorts opting for just slaughtered cow the rest going for the lasagne salad and chips. More beers and wine were ordered and a stuffed troop belched and farted their way into the games bar for some more darts, pool and stonking music. The alcohol started to loosen up the boys. Leftster, biggin it up on the pool table, was soon put in his place as things became more manic. Smoke having his video camera to hand meant some extreme pool footage was in order. Some really good angles were starting to be got by Spesh Spielberg who then got stuck into some round the clock darts. Seemed like a good thing so extreme darts began, wrong handed, through the legs and across the room darts all made for an interesting night with some good footage of the extreme darts before the battery packed up. The local bike had joined us wearing quick release tight pants and a top that fitted where it touched, so again some more footage of her bending over as Leftster manovered her into some good positions for camera footage; don’t worry both feet were on the floor and both hands were on his stick! I said stick! With a bottle of poof juice down Mr Spesh left the fray once more. Later joined by the gang less Smoke, as he was still letching over the bike, much to the distain of the local lads. Still the lads were primed and ready to right any wrongs that may ensue. After a night of chucking his ring up Spesh and the again groggy troops mustered for some much needed breakfast, Shorts doing a cracking impression of Ken Dodd and his diddy men. (SHAVE IT) Bags packed it was time to settle up the mammoth bill! Nearly £700! Get in! A quick drive up to Coedy and bikes sorted we all agreed to ride the short 8K loop called the Tware?? It started off on the same rocky single track as the beast but soon split onto some smooth flowing single track.  Goat on camera, faffing around, missed the speed shots and Spesh shot off, Leftster breathing down the neck of Goat as we flew down the trail.  Soup, Shorts and Smoke were in hot pursuit as we gathered more and more speed, hitting the last bermed section spat us all out at the bottom totally stoked! Oh my god what a ride...if only you could bottle that feeling and bag those big smiles boy you could make a fortune. A long road section climbed up before hitting the long fire track climb again. Goat tried his luck but still didn’t have it in the tank so the "King of the Mountains" stayed with Spesh but for how long?? Finally the summit was reached and we all mustered and got the camera ready for the final decent back to the visitor centre. Yes it was just as good as yesterday but we all rode with more confidence as your not riding it blind second time of asking. The weather was turning, so after a quick cuppa and change it was time to hit the sad roads home to normal life. With the traffic again in our favour we hit home around 15.30-16.00pm and said our goodbyes. It was good to get the gang out apart from Mr Big, so until next time my good friends 7 Stanes here we come! !